Are You A learner. Yes you Are

So as of late a few girls have come my way. And as all have been well seasoned. So being the boss I am, I just thought I’d just make a kinda guide for those who still don’t know how it works with girls. You hungry niggas can thank me later >_>!

1) Say Hey or Hi instead of Yo, Hello, and God so help you if you say Sup, Wassup etc (If you say Xup you’ve already bought first class ticket to hell). First impressions are important and tbh “hey” has the warmest feel to it. Lol I remember one day during that number game thing on twitter one guy dm’d a girl that didn’t even know him, one randomly long number hoping to still get a nice comment and an invitation into her dm’s for tensioning. Sadly though, the girl replied “15824863 – First impression matters. what kind of number is this, are you a recharge card salesman? I need glo 500 sha” Lmaoooo he probs cried that night :(

2) Have a decent conversation before you start implying you want to give her. Tbh you don’t even deserve a babe if you can’t capture a girls attention for an hour plus. Ask her what she’s doing, if she say watching T.V, ask here what show. If she says its one random show, ask her what shows she likes. And keep going like that. The thing is girls love talking about themselves. So as a boy you should be silent and only speak when she says “I’m doing this. You?”. And if she asks you for your hobbies say photography. Then tell her she should be a model and you’d like to take pictures of her. I guarantee you she Will Go CRAZYYY.

3) Blush a lot. This is a special technique developed by a legend known commonly as the Almighty Theo. Also known as the inventor of air, wearer of many hollister / urban spirit shirts at once, rider of a 1000 unicorns and killer of many flying cockroaches. _____o_ . The thing is, by doing “:$” a lot the girl will automatically think you’re cute/cute in a weird way. And since beauty is associated with cuteness she will automatically think you’re fine Even if one winch in the village is sitting ontop of your beauty or it is being held inside bottle at the bottom of the atlantic ocean.

4) Spice up your chats. Be the one to wink at her, be the first one to also tell her “brb”. you gotta let the bitch know you in charge! When you come back ask her if she missed you :$ ;) (never forget to blush and wink). Tell her you’re hungry. If she says go and eat, tell her you want to eat her :$ ;) . And so on. If satan isn’t playing Tinko with your destiny there’s no need for you to be giving one word replies to the girl you are trying to set and making the convo boring.

5) Own Her. If after a day or so the girl isn’t coming back for more. Then you have failed, because the day after tensioning is very very important for your future plans. Usually after a girl has been severely tensioned by me, she’s the first to ping me the very next day (swag ^,^). But then again. Don’t be stupid and go and follow one chick with 500000000 million followers and expect this to happen. Asin if she even replies your dm’s within the space of 4 days; you’re either extremely fine (I doubt it..) Or She looks like the offspring of Segun Arinze and Darkness itself (the more likely option). So pick your targets and tension away!

Re-blogged  from .