Life as A Convict

Hey guys, how-di-do, how’s your life been? I don’t want to hear any of it though. Miss me?  Well to be honest I’ve just been lazy to type and all, and its not easy going round with Rihanna to launch River Island stores around, then come back and satisfy Meagan and later go over to Ciara’s where she uses my body as her party. Trust me; my life is not a tad easy.

As I’ve been saying in my former posts, I’ve been working on a new semi-fictional series and all, and the thought hit me that this blog is for you all and it would be great if you all could get your own experiences on here, I am quite sure you love reading about my misfortunes and all but why don’t we read yours? So if you have any stories, experiences etc that you want to share, kindly mail me at Pietrosparks@gmail.com . You can decide to be anonymous or not in the post, depends on you. So I’ll be expecting those mails oh.

 Y’all know my life in secondary school wasn’t bliss to start with, it was hell, if you don’t understand what I’m saying, just read all this

To be honest, Secondary school was fun, had its ups and downs but the downs far far outnumbered the ups , and sharing the ups with you guys ain’t no fun , although beating juniors was fun as hell; their resounding cries fuelling the desire to beat and punish them even more but that’s not what I’m about today.

It was a typical Saturday night when I was in SS1, and people were at the hall “watching” movies which nearly the whole school couldn’t see except the ss3 student in front of course, due to the fact that it was like a puny 32” TV, serving like 2,000 students. It was pointless going, and I heard they were punishing my mates somewhere so it was more like an escape, taking all this factors into consideration, I chilled in one dark class near my hostel, waiting for socials to finish so students could go to hostel, where the seniors would do all sorts of beating and shouting, then I’ll sneak in after all the bullshit. I waited and waited , went down to the farm, drank water from the tap, came back, they hadn’t still finished, so I decided to lay down and gaze at the stars, thinking of the day Ill leave all this bullshit. The ‘Lay-down’ turned to “zzzzzz” and the next thing; I woke up around 12am in the dark class, sighting no soul outside. I wasn’t so scared cos my hostel was just a stone-throw away. So I went to the hostel where almost every body had gone to bed, besides the SS2 and SS3 students that were still up cooking, punishing juniors, gisting amongst “Other things”. I went to my locker where I was arranging my stuffs and was about to soak Garri when one man entered the hostel, walked down to my room and said I was cooking. I was likefrabz-WHAT-THE-FUCK-12f2ab

I explained that I was about to soak garri, the man didn’t even show any sign of pity, he continued, telling me that I should bring out what I was cooking and I told him I wasn’t cooking anything, he therefore searched my locker and saw my cup of garri and water which I had left to swell so I could go to bed a happy man. He told me to stand outside while he went to round up other students that were “cooking” , I stood outside, and after rounding up some innocent and not so innocent people, he marched us to a military mans house. On our way, he saw another man which caught my mates stealing boiled eggs which we were to have alongside bread for breakfast. So we were marched all together to the military mans house. On getting there, we waited out in the cold for close to an hour before the man came out, he didn’t even chill to hear our stories, I guess he thought all of us had gone to steal egg, so he told them to march us to the main gate where they locked us in jail. We were like 5 students in the cell measuring roughly bigger than the mobile public toilets we have here in Nigeria. There was a toilet nearby that stunk like decayed shit, diffusing its odor into the cell and eating away our sanity minute by minute. All we could do was lament and lament, trying to explain to the guards, which weren’t even ready to listen to any crap; meanwhile the “Egg guys” just sat down and reasoned life. Even in the cell there was seniority, there were like 2 SS2 students, then 3 of us SS1 students. They demanded we squeeze ourselves in corners while they enjoyed the small sleeping space left. I ended up sleeping kinda like thisSleeping on the wall

 

Man the mosquitoes were beyond what I had ever experienced in my entire life, they could see in the dark perfectly, looking for every means to get their mouths down your skin, I slept “Roughly awake” throughout the night, while the mosquitoes buzzed around.

The next day was a Sunday, and the guys were all dressed in their white and whites, while we were being marched down to the galley where we were to collect our food and go back to the cell to eat. Some people had heard about the egg gist and were now looking at me like I stole egg too, to make things worse, the man that caught the ‘Egg boys’ worked in the galley and was shouting “Look at them, they are the ones”, pointing in a manner that highlighted all of us, I just squeezed face like a convict badass nigga and collected my food, ignoring every soul and went back to the cell.

Later in the day, the Guard officer came to hear our complaints half-heartedly, calling the man that caught us to hear his own story. The man insisted that we were cooking, but do you know the funny thing, I later found out that the aroma was coming from the other hostel not too far from my hostel, so it was either bad luck at its best or they were trying to follow me from my village. After going back and forth on our case, the fact that there was no evidence that we were even cooking was a major factor, therefore setting us free. Around 8pm, we were set free while the ‘Egg boys’ remained to face judgment because theirs was obvious. The “Egg boys” were almost expelled but eventually, it was brought down to suspension after numerous pleas from their parents/guardians. One of the ‘Egg boys’ is one of my G’s. Anyways on the plus side, I’m an Ex-convict, yunno how we badguys do ;).

 

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